Blank and Numb
by Shonex
Summary: Everyone has a different way of dealing with situations. Some of us treat it as an opportunity to get better, some others will regard it with scorn, some will break out into tears, panic, or show the world that they're not taking it with a fit of rage. But then there are those people who sit quiet and just watch everything happen to them, stone cold, stone faced, and blank.
1. A Black Eye

"I'm sorry, I don't have any lunch money at all..." Aster sighs.

A bully had him pinned up against a locker. The older boy stared him in the eyes angrily before socking him in the face, causing Aster to grab at his eye before sinking to the floor. Some other kids sat by and never got involved whenever situations like this happened. They didn't want a problem. Maybe Aster would be mad at them, but he sort of understood. They didn't want conflict, and they didn't need it. He could deal with this on his own, like he always does.

"Stanford!" A teacher shouts, stomping over with a stern look, "I've had it with you! Which do you prefer? A suspension or being expelled? I'm fine with both!"

The bully's face turns pale instantly. The boy jet down the hallway, attempting to escape the teacher. The teacher taught Aster's class, which so happened to be English. The teacher stooped down to Aster's level, his blue eyes giving a sympathetic look.

"That's the third time this month..." The man frowns.

"M-Mr. Felix?" Aster looks up steadily.

"Come on, let's get you to the school nurse..." Felix sighed. "You have to stop letting this happen to you."

\- 88 -

During recess, Felix sat near Aster. The two talked very commonly about their lives, and were on very friendly levels. Felix was Aster's only adult friend at school, but that didn't matter much to the middle-schooler. Aster sat with his phone in hand, listening to music in one of his ears. The other earbud was out so he could listen to Felix.

"I mean, seeing you just sit there and take that doesn't seem right to me," Felix explained, "Stand up for yourself more often! You'll be stronger because of it, Aster,"

Aster turns to the man and frowns. "Fighting back only makes the situation worse. And I'm not strong, so I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not,"

"But you _are_ strong! Look at you! You're pretty good at track, and you can keep a good enough pace to do lots of push-ups," Felix argues, "You're strong! You just need to think of yourself that way,"

"But I don't."

"But you should."

"But what if I get suspended?"

"I'll bail you out!"

"Wouldn't that get you in trouble?" Aster's frown gets a bit bigger.

"Does this face look like I care?" Felix points to himself, sporting a deadpan face.

"No..." Aster sighs.

 **Felix's Mind**

Felix's Anger and Disgust were at the controls now, and they think they were doing a pretty good job. Felix's Sadness walked over, looking at the screen with some chips from Snack Island.

"We gotta go through this every day with him!" Felix's Anger yells, "I wish he would just do _something!_ Or let me at that kid! I'll show him messing with others ain't cool!"

"Yeah, go berserk on them, Brickhead," Felix's Disgust says sarcastically, "That'll _definitely_ solve _all_ of Aster's problems. Uh, no! We're not doing that. What he needs is confidence, not a bodyguard," He waves his hand dismissively at Felix's Anger, who gives an offended look and begins arguing with him.

While they were talking, Sadness handles the controls. He presses a button, cocking his head to the side.

"I don't know if this'll work, but I guess I could try..." Sadness sighs.

"Are...you okay?" Felix asks.

"...I'm fine." Aster looks away.

"Aster, please, I want to help."

"There's nothing wrong with me."

"You can trust me, you know."

"It's not that I don't," Aster says, "It's just..." He falls silent.

"You know, whenever I feel down about something, I'd paint or draw something to take my mind off of it," Felix explains, "Maybe you could find someone or something to invest your emotions into. I don't exactly know if it will work, considering everyone has a unique way of approaching a situation, but I wouldn't suggest this if I didn't care,"

Aster looks down to the ground in silence and he kicks the dirt a bit. The bell rings and Felix looks to the open field outside the school. He sighs, realizing that he hadn't gotten anywhere with Aster. Aster gets up and begins heading to class.

"I'll consider it..." he says, walking off to his math class.

"Do you think he'll be okay...?" Felix's Sadness looks to his Joy.

"W-What if he doesn't listen to us!? Today was a black eye, tomorrow might be a broken leg!" Felix's Fear takes cover behind his Anger, the latter punching the jumpy emotion away with an angry grunt.

"I don't think a broken leg will be the worst of it." Felix's Disgust shrugs. "I mean, he's been at this for only _this_ month. A broken leg's a bit much..."

"And _that_ is exactly why we're going to help Aster!" Felix's Joy puffs out his chest, looking proud. "We just have to keep trying at it, and we'll get there!"

"Easy for _you_ to say, Joy, you're _always_ optimistic." Felix's Disgust sighs.

\- 88 -

2:50 P.M.

Aster closes the door to his home and walks inside, covering his left green eye with brown hair and a camouflage jacket. His father, Tony, was in the living room, watching a program on the television, while his mother, Lisa, was in the bedroom, reading a book. At the sight of his son coming through the door, his father gives a small smile.

"Afternoon, Tyler," his father greets.

His father always called him by his middle name. It was just a display of affection. Perhaps Aster would smile, but he found it hard to.

"Afternoon, Dad," Aster answers.

"How was school?"

"Same as always."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Uneventful."

Tony sits there for a bit and turns off the television. "Alright, what's wrong, kid? You have that look on your face."

Tony wasn't the kind of person to just let this go under the radar. Aster always figured that if he spilled his heart out to others, they wouldn't want to be bothered. He felt that problems were to be dealt with by who had the problem. He didn't want others to go to that much of a length for someone like him.

 _Someone like him_.

Tony remembers when his son said that to him, and all his emotions could to was stare at the screen as if they watched their son get shot right in front of their faces.

 _'Someone like you?' Tony once said._

 _'It's better to not say anything. More trouble isn't needed where it isn't wanted,' Aster said before._

 _'But what if telling helps the problem?'_

 _'But what if it doesn't?'_

 _'But how would you know?'_

 _'I could ask you the same question.'_

 _'You're being difficult, Tyler!'_

 _'I'm sorry.'_

 _'It's alright - Wait I'm trying to help you! No apologies. Not yet.'_

 _'Then should I stay quiet? I feel like apologizing, and that's all I want to do right now.'_

 _A past Tony holds his head in his hands, groaning a bit._

 _'Are you mad at me?'_

 _'No, kid.'_

 _'But why are you upset?'_

 _'Because I feel like you can't trust me, and all I want is you to trust me right now.'_

 _'But I do trust you, Dad.'_

 _'Then tell me how you feel!'_

 _'I can't.'_

 _'Then you don't trust me.'_

 _'I'm sorry...'_

"Nothing's wrong, Dad," Aster answers.

 _'He's lying and I know he's lying.'_ Tony thought, gritting his teeth a bit.

"...Alright, kid," Tony says, "But talk to me if anything happens alright?"

"Okay.' Aster heads towards his room.

 **Aster's Mind**

A memory orb colored beige rolls among all of the other ones. A small, snow white emotion walks over to it and picks it up, looking it over for a bit. It was then when the other emotions began to come into the room.

"So Anger, how'd today go for you?" Aster's Joy asks.

"It's fine." The white emotion turns around, holding the memory orb. He was stone faced.

"... _Is he always gonna be like that, Joy?_ " Aster's Disgust leans towards his Joy, whispering in his ear.

" _It's fine, Disgust,_ " Joy whispers back, " _Besides, he gets along with Sadness a lot better!_ "

Aster's Sadness walks up to his Anger. "So...you want to obsess over the weight of life's problems again?"

Anger only gives a nod as a response. Sadness flops down on the floor first and Anger follows, copying Sadness. The memory orb rolls from his hands into that of Aster's Fear.

"... _I really hope this doesn't get worse_..."

And then there was Tony, who watched his son head towards his room with his hood still on. Perhaps if he looked a bit closer, he would've noticed his son's brown hair covering his eye. And perhaps if he had seen that, he would've asked him to take off the hood and move his hair. And just maybe, _just maybe_ , he would've seen that black eye.


	2. Trust and Honesty

It was finally the weekend. Aster sat on the bed in his room, he looked wistfully at the pictures that sat on the dresser. They were photos of the other house his family used to live in. Wilbur had a very 'mobile' life, and this was the fifth different house he'd ever lived in. It used to bother him about where they were going, but he wasn't affected by it now. He decided it would have to be something he'd have to get used to. His room, at the back of this house, was perfect to him. It was somewhere quiet, calm, and dim. He usually only keeps a candle in the room or a lamp, and that's only whenever he's writing something. To pass the time, he would draw some of the people he meets around school. He lists off the names in his head.

 _Cal, Jerry, Heather, Mr. Felix, Ms. Jane..._

Sometime later, he could hear an argument coming from the front part of the room. Aster looked towards the door and put down his sketchbook, getting up and creaking his door open.

"You're in hot water Mr. Wicker!" a man shouts, "I won't have another mistake on your part!"

"Sir, I understand that I need to turn into work, but I just can't get up and leave my-"

That was his father's voice.

"This company is driven by hard work and cooperation! If we don't have _your_ cooperation, we'll all fail! Do you want to be a failure, Wicker? No. No you don't! Get yourself together!"

Aster recognized that voice. It was his father's boss, Isaac Huntman.

 **Aster's Mind**

Aster's Fear was fumbling around, getting a clipboard with a bunch of papers on it. He began scribbling hastily on it, growing increasingly panicked.

"Ooohhh what's Dad getting yelled at for now!?" The emotion's teeth chattered.

"Hey, don't think too badly of it okay?" Joy says, "I'm sure everything's going to be fine right after Huntman leaves,"

"Aster doesn't need to see any of this..." Aster's Anger goes to the controls before being held back by his Disgust.

"Are you _kidding_ me!?" He sneers. "Hold on, _I've_ got this."

After Isaac leaves, Aster steps into the room, a miffed look on his face. Tony held his head in his hands, sighing.

"This is bad this is bad this is bad this is BAAAAD!" Fear writes faster.

Disgust pushes a button.

"What was he yelling about _this time_ , Dad?" Aster asks, scowling a bit.

"Ah nothing you need to be concerned with, Tyler." The man looks up before his eyes grow wide.

"AH! DISGUST YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE EYE!" Fear goes and grabs the controls, throwing his clipboard away, hitting Anger on accident.

"Uh, alright. I'll get going then," Aster says, beginning to turn back to his room.

His father grabs his arm. " _Who did this to you?_ " His voice makes Aster flinch visibly.

The boy turned back to see nothing but pure irritation and hatred on his father's face.

 **Tony's Mind**

"HOW DID WE LET THIS GET PAST US!?" Tony's Anger looked like he was going to blow up if any more flames came out of his head.

"Hey guys, calm down. We can just ask what happened without being hasty." Tony's Joy nods. "That's your cue, Sadness!"

"Something else about this bothers me." Tony's Sadness turns back to the others as he walked up to the controls.

"What would that be?" Joy folds his arms.

"Watch." Sadness turns back to the controls and pulls a lever.

"...You _do_ trust me, right?" Tony frowns.

"Of course I do, Dad." Aster nods.

"Wait, where are you going with this Sadness." Anger walks next to him. "You're saying that our _son_ doesn't even TRUST US!?"

"I know it sounds strange, but think about it. Right after we notice the eye, he turns and walks off as if he's suddenly got something busy to do." Sadness frowns. "He doesn't even trust us enough to tell us..."

Anger pushes a button as Sadness takes control of a different lever.

"Then why aren't you telling me?" Tony gives a confused and annoyed look. "I only want your honesty you know."

"Because I can handle it just fine. I've been doing so on my own this entire month anyway."

"Wh...THIS ENTIRE MONTH!?" Tony once again causes Aster to flinch.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I WANT TO PUNCH SOMETHING!" Anger was about to go wild on the controls before Joy pulls him back, avoiding the wild swings of the red emotion.

Tony's Fear goes to help Joy but winds up getting sucker punched in the face.

Tony's Disgust just stood in the corner of the room, giving a look of suspicion.

"Hey guys," he speaks up, "When Aster came in from school yesterday, do you remember anything strange about him?"

He takes a memory of the moment Aster came in from school. It projects the events that occurred yesterday, and Disgust presses a remote, pausing it.

"Look at him! The hair was right over his bruised eye. He was trying to hide it!" Disgust folds his arms, scoffing. "Obviously he doesn't want us involved. Too bad for him though!"

"When that kid hurt you, did you fight back? Did you do anything to them?" Tony asks.

"...No," Aster responds.

"And why not? You're strong enough to defend yourself!"

"I know that."

"But you didn't do anything! There wasn't a sign of a scuffle on you yesterday!"

"No, I didn't do anything."

"Well why?"

"I didn't want to start a fight. A bruise is one thing but a suspension is another."

"But you let yourself get _steamrolled_. Look at you!" Tony holds Aster's chin up with his hand.

 **Aster's Mind**

"Are you sure letting Anger at the controls is a good idea, Joy?" Fear looks to Joy.

"It's perfectly fine, Fear!" Joy points to Anger. "Look, he's handling it! And he's not blowing up like he used to."

Anger stared at the monitor silently. He turns back to look at the rest. "Dad's given up. We can go back the room now."

Fear gives a small sigh of relief, but Disgust looks unconvinced. "We could've just been direct and stern with him!"

"I...don't think being direct with situations we have no control over is a good idea...Not to mention the stress Dad's already going through," Sadness speaks up.

"I would listen to Sadness, he understands what others need: a life without worry." Anger blinks. "You can have the controls back, Joy."

Another beige colored memory orb slides among the rest. Joy takes care of the controls as Anger goes and looks out the window at the rest of the mind from Headquarters. All of the islands were as they were. Except Bond Island. The island that caused Aster to hold his relationships with others at a high level. That meant honesty and trust. But it was lost ever since the core memory of Aster meeting his first friend went missing. Down in the Memory Dump, and Anger followed after it, falling into it as well. Nearly forgotten, but here he is again.

Blank, but still there.


	3. Perspectives

Aster sat outside his house one day, going through the same daily routine as always. He would often relay his foolproof plan to have fun.

Find something to occupy himself.

Once said thing was found, keep at it.

If he got bored, find a way to be innovative.

Should plan fail, step one.

If plan does not fail, step two.

Currently, he had borrowed the chalk from the shed in order to write on the concrete outside of his house. He didn't think he was the absolute best drawer in the entire world, but he was proud of what he felt he could do.

 **Aster's Mind**

Aster's Joy was overlooking, in his terms, the "project". It was just a habit of the little emotion to see every little hobby as a sort of project that needed to be done in an organized and calm manner. To be "original", another thing Joy would say, he would venture down into Long Term Memory in order to find "really old, but still special" memories that had some of Aster's most emotional moments. The other emotions, sans Aster's Anger, would follow.

Anger was usually tasked with watching the monitor, and so he has never actually been down into Long Term Memory. Today was the same as last weekend, and Anger just pulled up a chair with a cup of coffee in hand, and stared at the screen. His newspaper was next to him, but he didn't bother looking at it. Usually only Fear would drink coffee, but Anger eventually got a sort of taste for it, figuring he might as well see "what the buzz was about". That buzz just so happened to be the amount of sugar and cream. No wonder Fear was so jumpy.

Aster looked up as the front door to his house had opened. His mother, Lisa, came outside to inspect his little work of art. He hadn't started coloring it in yet, but it was the outline of his school's logo. He had made it _far_ too big, but that's the way Joy liked it. Bigger was better to him. Anger always found himself watching the forward and backward strokes of the chalk, nothing interesting in particular really sticking out to him. He looked around as his mother came out, but realized Joy and all of the other emotions had gone to Long Term Memory. He looked back up to the screen.

"I suppose I can deal with this..." He shrugged.

"Aster," Lisa said, "I want to say I'm so proud of you for keeping your grades up this quarter of your school year. I know it's been hard getting a grip on life, but I think we're finally settling here for good. No more moving! Isn't that exciting?"

"Uh-huh." Aster continued drawing.

Lisa tilted her head a bit, giving a half frown. "Another thing I've been wanting to say is...well, you haven't invited any of your friends over for a _long_ time. I was wondering why you weren't being social like you always are."

"I just don't find that much fun anymore. I like being by myself."

"Should I go then? I don't like to come off as intruding, you know."

"I never said you should."

"Well, that's reassuring. But you don't find it fun anymore? Why would that be?"

Aster shrugged in response. Anger didn't really have an answer to that. He just...sort of didn't like being around others. He pulled a lever.

"I like it better when it's quiet. I can think some more, and do things better." Aster looked back to his mother.

The woman's frown got a small bit bigger, making Anger think that his approach wasn't the right one. He had to give a lie instead of saying "I just suddenly don't like being around people". That would prompt a discussion he didn't feel like dwelling into. And maybe Anger would think that lying wasn't right, but it didn't occur to him that Lisa was only worrying more.

"Well, I spoke with your teacher Felix today, and we both thought it would be nice if his son came over and talked with you," Lisa explained, stooping down to be at Aster's level, "Would that be alright with you?"

Anger didn't know how to respond to that, so he brought his hands off the controls and idly rubbed on a beige memory orb, something that he found would always help him know what to do. He'd been the person to always set his stronger foot out first, but now was different. He didn't know how to feel about it, so he just approached it like always.

"Sure, who's his son?" Aster asked.

"Kyle Stanford Fitzgerald," Lisa responded.

 _Stanford_. Anger knew how the others felt about him. In the past somewhere, perhaps Anger would've immediately acted out with a firm and loud "NO", but this was the present, and Anger had to approach this situation maturely. He figured that Aster and Stanford could have some sort of agreement. It was playing itself out in his head, and he could see nothing but good coming from this. Or maybe that was him just being optimistic, he didn't know. Optimism sounds like something Joy would have, so he supposed he didn't have it. He believed all the emotions were unique, and so he believed they didn't share...emotional qualities.

Aster gave a nod to Lisa's words, the latter frowning at her son's unusual quietness. She sat out in a chair on the edge of the driveway, watching him draw.

* * *

Eventually, all of Aster's emotions came back to Headquarters to check on how Anger was doing. The white emotion turned his swivel chair around so he could face the others. Each emotion had a memory orb that matched them. Joy waves to Anger, who waves back.

"How'd things go, Anger?" Joy asked.

"I don't know. I think everything went well, though." Anger shrugged. "We have somebody joining us today."

"Ooooh, a friend!? Alright then, guys! We've got somebody helping us with... _The Project_."

"There's that name again, Joy. Honestly, I don't see all the buzz about your little Project shenanigans. Shouldn't we be doing other things than the same old thing every day? Like...anything else?" Disgust folds his arms.

"We got another person with us? Who's coming over, Anger?" Fear went to go grab some coffee.

"Stanford." Anger points to the monitor, showing a car pulling up.

Instantly, Fear was at the controls. "WHAT!? _NO! WHAT IS HE DOING HERE!?_ "

"Mom invited him." Anger said flatly.

"Well get _rid_ of him! The last thing we need is _another_ ice pack, Anger!" Disgust scoffed.

"Oooooh what if he beats us into a pulp!?" Fear's teeth chattered wildly.

"This'll probably just go the same way as always..." Sadness flops on the floor, sighing.

Joy held his hands out to everybody. "Guys, calm down okay? This is _Anger_ we're talking about. His plans work! So, give him a chance."

The other emotions sat there for a bit before groaning and agreeing to try and deal with Stanford. Right at that moment, Felix walked up to Aster and waved to him. Aster waved back, smiling a bit in relief at the fact that Felix was there.

"I didn't know Stanford was your son..."

"Stanford's only his middle name, 'cuz he doesn't like me calling him Kyle." Felix puts his hands in his pockets.

Aster noticed Felix's apparent informality outside of school, though he hadn't spoken to him much. It was far more apparent in this conversation than any of the other ones he'd been a part of. The informality really made for a lighter mood, which once again got Aster to smile momentarily. He watched as Stanford followed behind, a disgruntled look on his face. Aster frowned at the sight, fear once again coming over him. Felix put a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Just relax, okay? I already warned him about what'd happen if he ever hurt you." The man nods.

Aster hesitantly nodded as a response, with Felix walking off to go speak with Lisa. The two head inside, Felix staying over just to be sure Aster stayed safe. The window blinds were open just a tad bit by the man, trying to make it inconspicuous that there was a sour relationship between the two boys. He knew Aster didn't want much attention on him whenever it came to this sort of thing, so Felix tried to make it look like he was completely calmed down. There was an air of anxiety at the back of his head, telling him to glance out the window every so often. However, he couldn't do that while Lisa was around. It was a dilemma for him, and within his mind, Fear was yanking on the controls as if the world was ending.

* * *

Aster was messing around with his chalk again, a football hitting him on the back of his neck. He winced and rubbed at it, looking down at the ball with an irritated look. He grabbed onto to it and looked up to see Stanford looming over him.

Anger was about to press a button to have Aster idly give the ball back and ignore the pain, but was shoved away by Disgust, who pulled a lever. Aster glared a bit and stood up, moving back and throwing the ball forward, a perfect spiral. Stanford flinched and jumped for it, falling on his backside with the ball in his hands.

Joy clapped in response. "Nice job, Disgust!"

Disgust folded his arms, smirking in satisfaction and smugness. "He's gonna challenge us for a game you know; it's just like him."

Stanford stood up and sat there, a look of deep thought on his face. Aster had thrown that ball with a bit more strength than what he'd used in the fights against Stanford. When the pudgy, but still taller boy caught the ball, it stung his hands a bit, causing him to wince.

 **Stanford's Mind**

Stanford's Anger sat at the controls for a bit, thinking.

"This guy wants a fight, well I'll give him one!" He clasped his hands together.

Something about his mind was a lot different, because a fair quantity of the memory orbs were either belonging to Sadness or Anger. Disgust was scarce, and so was Joy. Yet, Fear was everywhere. Purple for miles. And it was in such strange contrast with Aster, who, for all of his Long Term Memory, had nothing but beige orbs and negative ones. Aster figured Stanford was just a child who found joy in things such as the misfortune of others. He guessed wrong, because Stanford was very rarely ever happy. These two could connect in a lot of ways, but just one of them needed to raise a question. Neither did.

Stanford readied himself and threw the football back, Aster catching it easily. His glare didn't get any deeper, but instead softened into another blank look. He was already bored of this, and so, with the help of Disgust, Aster threw the ball into the tree, making it look like it was an accident. Stanford flinched and glared to Aster, stomping over to him.

"Good going, idiot!" He shouted.

Aster blinked, and he said nothing back. A fist came for his face.

Fear yelped and pulled a lever, Anger grabbing his hand and trying to calm him down. The result was Aster grabbing onto the hand with a disinterested look. Stanford frowned at this, and gave a look of slight disbelief.

"You know, maybe I'd let you do this if it was school, where your actions determine your grades and therefore your life as a whole. Maybe I'd let you get suspended. I really should," Aster said, shrugging, "Maybe I wouldn't. Right now you're being so much of a hothead I feel stupid just hanging around you."

In Aster's mind, Disgust looked in shock at Anger, who handled everything without batting an eye. There was no look of satisfaction or scorn on his face, and there was no sour tone in Aster's voice either. The boy seemed flippant. Anger's learned a new skill. Though he may not be as prone to blowing up as before, he could say things without any trouble. He's learned to not care. Fear leaned near Joy, who was staring at the monitor, his thoughts in a flurry. Sadness backed away from everyone, looking towards the Core Memories. Too bad that special one had to leave...

Stanford was very visibly bothered by this. "What do you mean by that!?"

"If you were _listening_ , you'd understand. But as always, you're sitting around asking questions that are answered already." Aster sighed.

"What's with the sudden switch? You weren't like this at school. What? Are you a coward?" Stanford leans close to him.

"No, so please shut up and go get the ball already." Aster sits on the ground and gets to drawing with chalk again. "You might want to listen to me, because your dad is watching."

Stanford looks back towards the window. He was right, and Stanford saw the eyes of his father looking back at him through the blinds. The boy groans and goes to look towards the tree. The ball was stuck among the branches. Without hesitating, he walked towards the tree and got to climbing, the slightly smaller branches creaking under the sudden weight. Aster watched with a single eye as Stanford reached for the ball, his fingers grazing it right before the branch under him snaps, causing him to stumble and fall.

Anger pulls back two levers, with Aster dropping his chalk and sprinting over to where Stanford was, catching him and staggering backwards a bit, falling to the ground. The larger boy looked around a bit with wide eyes. Aster shoved Stanford off of him, the football rolling over to his feet. He picked up the ball and offered a hand to Stanford. The boy sat there for a bit before grabbing on, Aster pulling him up. He was handed the football and watched Aster go back to drawing crayons. Stanford stood there a bit.

"...T-Thanks."

"Mhm..."

The bully blinked before setting the ball down hesitantly and grabbing a piece of chalk.


	4. Confliction

_"So, how long have you lived here?" Stanford asked._

 _"Not long," Aster answered, "I've moved a lot of places throughout my life,"_

 _"Yeah?" Stanford questioned, "Isn't it sorta...uh...irritating having to move everywhere? You know, leaving people behind?"_

 _"It was at first, but then I learned to just not care."_

 _"...Why?"_

 _"Because if I got too attached, it'd hurt to move."_

 _"But what about the people who miss you?"_

 _"Oh well."_

 _Stanford had joined Aster in his drawing. Thinking that the silence was a bit disturbing, he went and started a conversation with Aster. It had started off well at first, but then when they wandered into how he'd been moving from place to place, Stanford found himself slightly concerned. He'd been here his entire life, not really going too far away from his home unless he really needed something from the general store._

 _"How're your parents handling it?" Stanford asked, looking up from part of the chalk drawing._

 _"Huh?" Aster turned his head to the boy._

 _"How're they dealing with the moves and all?"_

 _"Pretty well. Mom is, at least."_

 _Stanford furrowed his brow at that._

 _"What about your dad?" the boy asked._

 _"He's...having problems," Aster replied, "It's harder for him to put more time into work than usual. He's constantly stressed and tired because he's trying to provide for us while at the same time find a decent home for us all to live in. As a result, he's in danger of being fired."_

 _"...Aren't you concerned?"_

 _"Yes, but what can I do about it?"_

 _"I...I don't know..." Stanford frowned._

* * *

It had been some time since that conversation. Three days, and it was Wednesday again. School had let out early so arrangements could be done for a pep rally. Stanford sat in the living room of his home, scanning the area. His house wasn't too big. His mother had been working late, and so he couldn't really talk to her all that much. Stanford was on edge, and his face had a look of concern. He was currently alone in the house, and he'd been left to think on his interactions with Aster.

Aster had never stood up for himself when Stanford had begun messing with him, so that was a thought in his head as well. He'd be honest, he genuinely cared about what Aster was going through. The guy saved him from a fall despite what the bully had kept doing to him. He guessed it was time for him to bury the hatchet and understand the guy. His hands twitched, unfocused and jittery. This happened to him a lot. Anticipation would build up in Stanford's system and he felt a need to get rid of it. His father had given him a punching bag and set it up in his room, but the bully never used it. Now was a good time. The boy stood up and walked into his room, his hands balled into fist. A thud rang out as a fist hit the punching bag. He could feel stress slowly melting off of him. It was an odd frustration that ran through him. A mix of fear, anger, and sadness.

He had to stop eventually, he'd run out of energy.

The boy laid on the bed, back resting up against it. Aster confused him, extremely so. He'd never seen someone approach things with just a nonchalant attitude, not even his own father! Felix looked like one of the most level-headed people, but he was head-over-heels in paperwork and providing for just himself and Stanford.

Then his thoughts went and flowed to his mother, Juniper Fitzgerald.

Juniper...he didn't remember Juniper all that well. He was young whenever she passed away. An illness had her bedridden, and the days after were just Felix counting down until death finally took her. As a result, that connection he may have had with his mother was gone, and he was only left with Felix as his father. Though he didn't know her all that well, he knew that she was affecting a big part of his life. There were times when a still quietness would overtake Felix, and Stanford could do nothing but watch as his father stared at the photos on the wall in silent solemnity.

Felix didn't know it, but the silence was absolutely maddening to Stanford. The boy wanted to help his dad, but he didn't know how. He couldn't just reanimate something from the dead! So, he did nothing...

He remembers how that frustration took over him a while after it had happened repeatedly. He had learned to turn the concern into sadness, and sadness into anger. He wandered around school, holding that anxiety and irritation in himself before...

And his target just so happened to be Aster. And it continued to be Aster. But now, he had no way to get rid of it. He was worried about Aster now. Sure the punching bag would work, but for how long? Would it just poof into dust one day? Then Stanford would be left with nothing. Not telling anyone his problems, not-

This was all Aster's fault. If he hadn't reminded him of his dad-...

 _...Don't blame him..._

The anger became fear, though it was this way for a long time. Stanford sat on the edge of his bed, holding his head in one hand. He had a headache. He was confused beyond belief. Who or what could he direct his anger at? The two people that he had enough sympathy to worry over?

 _Click_

That was the front door. His room wasn't too far from it, so it was easy to tell someone was here. His dad of course; nobody else could get inside but him! He opened the door to his room and went up to meet his father, who set his jacket on a coat rack.

"Hey, Dad." Stanford gave a small smile.

"Heya Stan, how's it going?" Felix asked, stooping down to meet his son.

"I'm alright. Nothing's really happening."

"You know, I bought an extra loaf of bread. We can go feed the ducks," Felix said with a smile, "Remember how we always used to do that? Feed the ducks?"

His father always did things like this, bringing back the past. Though Stanford never turned down the offer; it was his dad after all! He nodded and went to go actually put some shoes on; he never walked around in them while he was inside, not even in sandals.

In a few moments he was ready, but his heart sank at the sight of his father sitting on the couch in the living room, staring at those same old photos on the wall near the front door. Stanford looked down to the floor. Looks like they weren't going out to feed the ducks anytime soon. He clenched his hands into fists and turned around, going to head back in his room and silently shut the door.

Stanford sent a fist for that punching bag in his room, followed by another one. He took in a gasp of air quickly, continuing with his assault. But he didn't need that air to continue beating on this object.

It was a hiccup-like gasp.

He was crying.


	5. Apathy

**Stanford's Mind**

Fear was pacing around again, something he often did when quote-on-quote, "there was nothing else to do". He was usually the one at the controls, so Joy, for once in a long while, decided to take over. The jumpy emotion was unsure about having Joy at the controls because he felt there wasn't much to be happy about, but Joy was set on finding something to cheer Stanford up after so many days of being stressed out.

He suggested talking to Aster and venting to him.

"Is that safe? Why does it sound dangerous!?" The purple emotion quivered.

"Of course it's not dangerous, Fear!" Joy reassured, "Venting is just a healthy way of getting rid of stress. It's just talking about your problems!"

Sadness walked up alongside Joy, frowning. "Are you sure he wants to hear about us...? We did a lot of things wrong to him..."

"That is why we're talking to him! Maybe he'll be able to relate or something!"

Disgust blinked. "Or _something_?"

"I. Am. Trying. Now let's go make a friend!"

-88-

To be honest, Stanford wasn't quite sure of speaking to Aster. He'd never say that though- he had a reputation to keep! The disobedient delinquent that takes nothing from anybody.

In retrospect, perhaps that wasn't the most positive title to have.

During lunch time. That was when Stanford decided to meet Aster. He saw the boy sitting by himself as usual, and not once did he seem to look down. He just looked bored with the commotion happening in the room. Stanford went and sat down by him, when about a meter away from the boy he turned his head and laid his backpack on the table. Aster seemed to be writing in some sort of book, and he didn't glance up to look at Stanford.

"So uh...hi." Stanford gave a small wave.

"Hello," Aster responded.

And then there was silence. Stanford didn't like how tense it was, but he figured he should've expected it. Especially from someone like Aster.

"Not much of a talker...?" Stanford tilted his head.

"You hear more when you're quiet."

"I guess so." Stanford shrugged. "But, it's so loud in here."

"You might miss something."

"By waiting around here? Nice try at a joke."

 _BOOM_

The entire cafeteria turned to see a kid with glasses fall out of his chair, his face covered in what looked like pink slime. Several others were coated as well. Whatever invention she had decided to create didn't go so well, and immediately the room was filled with laughter as some of the teachers helped escort her and the other children to the office. Stanford had found himself laughing as well, but noticed that Aster was frowning.

It wasn't the usual sort of frown. Rather, Stanford saw something different in his expression. Aster's eyes were softer and slightly lidded. It was genuine sadness.

"Hey c'mon, have a bit of humor." Stanford pat Aster's back.

"Do you think she's alright...?"

"She looked okay enough to be walking."

"No I mean...emotionally." Aster turned to Stanford. "That's an embarrassing situation to be in."

Stanford couldn't doubt Aster there. He could faintly see how red she was under the pink slime as people pointed and laughed at her for her massive mistake.

"I, uh, guess you gotta be right there..." He folded his arms. "Do we go check on her?"

Aster nodded. "Just to see if she's alright."

 **Stanford's Mind**

"This is actually going better than I thought..." Fear stared up at the monitor as Stanford followed behind Aster.

"See? I told you guys there was nothing to worry about." Joy patted Fear on the back with a nod.

"Easy for you to say, _Joy._ You used to worry about everything." Disgust walked into the room. "Remember that time he went and left to wander around Long Term because he felt useless?"

"I was only taking a vacation!" Joy gave a weak grin at the remark.

"Suuuure..." Disgust rolled her eyes.

"Honest! Besides, we have more important things to talk about than my totally-legit vacation!" Joy pointed towards the monitor. "Let's make today the best in the entire week!"

 ** _Later..._**

Stanford had decided to follow Aster home to continue a conversation they'd been talking about. The entire time they walked up to Aster's front door, the eyes of other kids on the bus had been following them. Most were in confusion. Why was Stanford hanging out with that sad kid all of a sudden? Was it out of pity? He was probably just messing with him again for some lunch money. Most of the thoughts weren't positive ones. Seeing Stanford just brought more negativity than what he could fix. Stanford was determined to win Aster over, however. It wasn't pity.

It was guilt.

It was guilt and sadness, shame for his own actions. And for that, Stanford needed to redeem himself. He thought that them drawing chalk like they did a few days ago would start up another conversation, perhaps one he could bond over. So, he asked a question.

"Say, uh, never seen you with that notepad before." Stanford looked up from a box of chalk he'd been given. "You write?"

"And I draw. I make comics with characters I've written." Aster didn't look up from the art he'd been scrawling on the ground. "You're suddenly interested in my hobbies? This isn't to cheat me out of my money, huh?"

"W-What?" Stanford flinched at the assumption. "No, nothing like that! I'm actually trying to be a better guy!"

He sighed and went back to drawing. The silence that soon followed was very uncomfortable. Silence was nice in healthy doses, but it really felt like Aster was trying to stay distant. Stanford supposed he'd have to come to terms with the fact that there was a large wall between the two of them, especially after the bullying. Christ, the bullying...Stanford could never swallow the thought anymore. Aster was so _understanding_. Compassionate and aware of the pain others feel.

Stanford's sadness was at the controls again. "It must be terrible to know he can't do anything for them..."

" _Those_ losers?" His Disgust scoffed. "They never cared about us anyway. So why should we care about them?"

"Aster seems to care...and nobody notices him. Nobody still does. Everyone thinks he's an outcast. Friends few and far between..."

"From how he acts, does he really need friends?"

"...Maybe not...but...something's not quite right about him."

 ** _Aster's Mind_**

It was always Anger's job to watch the monitor when someone proposed to go to Long Term Memory. "The Project" was really just a bunch of miniature drawings that Joy decided to give a superfluous tone to. Things needed to be emphasized and exciting! That way, Aster could be happier and enjoy himself better. Unfortunately, that's been harder the more Anger has been at the controls. The longer Joy and the others had been away, the more whenever they come back that Anger feels inclined to take leadership. That meant happy was out the window.

Aster's Sadness nicknamed Anger "Apathy" for his constant stone face, calm nature, and quiet voice- along with the fact that Aster was apparently immune to rage when Anger was at the controls. So whenever someone said Apathy as if they were addressing someone, they usually meant Anger, as he had begun to answer to both names. It was an odd feeling for the white emotion. It was "fun" in a way. Whatever fun felt like, at least. He didn't actually know what fun was. He just said it because Joy said it was a good thing. He tried to make Aster have fun, but he wasn't the best at it. Quite the opposite really.

Anger himself had been grasping another cup of coffee. It was hard for him to sleep, and he didn't have much else to do, so he was always at the monitor. Coffee always kept him awake. His sleeping patterns were terrible now because of it and his insomnia. And with that came paranoia. Twitchy feelings that something was off.

"Have you not been to sleep yet?" Fear's voice suddenly said, "Anger, I told you that wasn't healthy. I know you have responsibilities, but you can't carry the weight all by yourself."

"It's my job...am I working too hard?" Anger turned his gaze to fear, his face now a frown.

"Well...are you getting enough sleep? There are bags under your eyes- Anger, you need to sleep! Please give yourself a rest."

"It's the middle of the day..."

"I don't give a flying fillet o' fish if it's the middle of the day! What matters is that you're tired...Aren't you?"

"I don't feel it, but I guess so."

Fear put a hand to his chin. Ever since Anger was saved from the memory dump, he'd been like this. And as long as Anger was like this, Aster couldn't get angry. And as nice as it is to not be punched when Anger decides to interrupt and make his presence known, that meant that a very important emotion had basically disappeared! And who knows for how long Anger would be like this! Was it even temporary? Is it permanent?

In Anger's lap was a beige orb. One where Aster, his mother, and his father had met up with the rest of the family for one big reunion. It had happened sometime earlier in the month, and Aster saw himself staying away from the rest of the group of people, not wanting to be in the spotlight at any cost. It was only now that Fear had noticed it. Anger surrounded himself with all sorts of these kinds of memories. Is Apathy something that creates walls...? Cages even...? Around who? Whoever feels it?

 _'We've gotta get our Anger back...or things might get worse.'_ Fear could only hope Anger would come back.


End file.
